I’ve owned three sleeves from the big-name brands and none of them had skin texture like this. You can actually see pores and fine lines — it’s not printed on, it’s molded in. The material doesn’t have that cold rubber feel either; it warms up fast and stays warm, which matters when your bedroom is in a Toronto winter for half the year. Cleanup is the usual two minutes with warm water and mild soap. If you’re on the fence between this and the usual suspects, the texture settles it.

First full-size toy after years of handhelds, and I was worried about the weight — turns out 2.5kg is the sweet spot. Heavy enough to stay put hands-free, light enough to carry to the sink one-handed. No weird smell out of the box, and the shipping box was genuinely discreet: plain brown, nothing on the label, nothing on the statement. Already looking at the 9kg models.

Ordering a 5kg hip from overseas felt like a gamble — it wasn’t. Tracking worked the whole way to Sydney, the box took the trip without a dent, and the customs declaration was so generic it was boring. Exactly what you want. The piece itself: rock-steady hands-free at 5kg, no smell, and the skin texture is honestly better than anything I’ve seen in local shops here. Worth every cent of the wait.

As a Brazilian, the name made me smile before the box was even open — and the silhouette does the homage justice. Thirteen kilos of it. Once it’s on the bed it doesn’t move unless you move it, and that’s the whole point. What I didn’t expect was the skin feel: soft, warm, nothing like rubber. Friends here ask if it’s worth importing. I tell them the curve alone answers that. This is a tribute, not a gimmick.